The Piece I Just Don't Like

Again, this is part of a series.

To read Part 1, click here

To read Part 2, click here

To read Part 3, click here

***

So, the piece I don't like. I want to preface, this isn't meant to be a gripe session. It's not meant for me to verbal vomit about all the things I'm unhappy about. However, it is meant to show honesty. To show that sometimes, life just stinks. Everyone has those days. There are different extremes to what we think of as issues. I know that my "issues" don't compare to those of the orphans I encountered last week. I know that my "issues" are different from those who suffer from life threatening diseases, from abuse and poverty. I'm not saying that my "issues" come close to that. And realizing that reminds me of how blessed I am.

***

However, I believe that no matter what, in the moment of whatever we personally deal with (big or small, justified or not) - sometimes it's just HARD.

This is the piece that I put in my mouth and take one bite and know I'm in trouble. Not sure if I can stomach it. My taste buds and my stomach have a fight and neither is willing to make a home for the piece I just bit into (figuratively speaking - it's hard to process). In the moment, I think "Why in the world would the creator of this chocolate put this piece in this box? Seriously, I didn't want this when I accepted the box. Can I take it back? Change the flavors?"

***

I won't go into too many specifics but I will share a short list of things that have happened since I've come to Thailand (not really unique to Thailand necessarily but things that I have gone through on my journey that makes the thought of "seriously, I signed up for this?" cross my mind from time to time).

***

Again, not complaining, just being honest with feelings.

These are the pieces (the days) when . . .

• things add up: the heat, the smells of squid and fish sauce and strange meats, the mosquitoes insistence on biting EVERY part of my body, the lizards jump out, the roaches scurry across the floor of our home, the ants invade our lives, the language barrier gets in the way of communicating and I realize charades just won't cut it, the stares that won't stop, the comments about us being foreigners ware one my patience, the difficulty in sometimes accomplishing simple tasks, the exhaustion from it all.
• last year when it felt like the obstacles were becoming more frequent, bigger and almost impossible to overcome
• I just miss people. My family. My friends. My family (did I mention them already?). I miss face to face conversations with the people I would "do life" with regularly. Knowing that I'm missing things is tough. Holidays, Birthdays, fun parties, showers, births, engagements, weddings, etc. This is probably one of the things that is the hardest. Missing out. On people. On conversations. On events. On memories.

***

However, I have the reassurance that God has me where He wants me at this moment. He knows it isn't easy to endure or sacrifice these things. However, He's asked me to be obedient. I have experiences, memories, people - friends and "family", and laughs here. They in no way replace those I've left back in the States, but they are still rich and full of blessings. He keeps teaching me through every experience. ESPECIALLY during the pieces I don't like.

***

I know that if God gave me the pieces I always wanted, I'd grow bored. I would grow unappreciative. I would take those pieces for granted. When he mixes up the box, He brings variety to life. He brings reminders of hope. Reminders of his grace and mercy. Reminders of his unconditional and unfailing love.

***

"Let me remember that when I question God's dealings. I don't understand Him, but the I'm not asked to understand, only to trust. Bitterness dissolves when I remember the kind of love with which He has loved me - He gave Himself for me. Whatever He is doing now, therefore, is not cause for bitterness. It has to be designed for good, because He loved me and gave Himself for me."

***

"Difficulty opens our eyes to pleasures we have taken for granted."

***

Both Quotes from Elisabeth Elliot's Keep a Quiet Heart.

The Nutty Piece

This is a follow up on a series. To read part 1 click here.

To read part 2 click here.

These are the pieces that I like. I don’t want all my chocolate to be nutty. But I like it. The “nuts” in life that I’m talking about aren’t almonds, peanuts or walnuts. They aren’t the cashew nuts that I so love in my cashew nut chicken.

What I mean by nutty is crazy, goofy, and sometimes just strait up random and weird.

Random is a constant here. Click here to read a post from last year about the random experiences we had at the beginning.

I am thankful for the nutty pieces, they are the days that make me laugh the most. Laughter is like water to my soul – it gives me energy and joy. I feel like since moving to Thailand, God has put a few extra nutty pieces in my box.

Here are my personal examples when I have a day (piece) like this . . .

1. About a month or so ago, we visited another school in the community pretty close to our house. A friend of ours we asked to help with an English Camp Day at this school and she enlisted me and my roommates to help her out. That day happened to be a planning day for us and we weren’t needed in our own classrooms. So, we decide to help. We show up while the hundreds of students are lined up for assembly and the only way to get to where we needed to be was to walk right in the middle of where they were congregated. The looks on their faces were priceless, not sure they’d ever seen so many foreigners at once.

We are given our assignments and sent to our classrooms – we would each be in charge of one station where we worked with 15 kids for 20 minutes and then repeat this as 8 groups would come through.

There are 2 parts to this story:

a) Most of these kids don’t know much English – they get maybe an hour or so a week at their school. I am tasked with teaching them a handful of action vocabulary – painting, dancing, singing, riding a bike, etc. In one group of kids I had that kid (every school has at least one). He’s probably in 2^nd or 3^rd grade. Hair buzzed. Stocky. Cute. Ornery. Absolutely ornery, I could see it in his eyes. And then, he shows it. I reveal the “dancing” card and we go over how to say it and what it is. He promptly stands up and starts jumping up and down, one hand in the air like he’s a gangster and starts rapping in perfect slang “Yo Whazzup Man, Yo Whazzup Man, Yo Whazzup Man?” I look at the 2 kids from 9^th grade that were sent to be my translators/helpers for the day and we just all bust out laughing. This kid can barely repeat “I’m fine thank you, and you?” Yet, he perfectly utters “Yo, Whazzup Man” about 20 times in 20 minutes. It comes to no surprise that when we played charades, he chose the “dancing” card and went around repeating the phrase he was so proud of while jumping up and down. He was so hyper that he slipped on the floor while jumping and almost landed his head into the hard desk – thankful he caught himself because I’m not sure how I would explain myself to the parents, principal and paramedics. How does “Yo whazzup man” translate into Thai?

b) While at this English Day Camp, we meet a guy from England. In his 20’s and in university, he came to Thailand for 3 months just to experience it. He connected with the school and made arrangements for him to live and work at the school, helping a bit with the English program. While eating lunch, we visited with him. (side note about lunch – they made a special dish for us. Pad Thai – which is one of my fav’s – but apparently they ‘westernized’ it by substituting the normal chicken or pork for chunks of hotdogs). We’re talking to this guy and he asks all these questions about America. Then, he asked us if we were “truly religious” or if we just used it to secure a visa? We told him we were Christians. He was curious as to why we were here, why we would stay so long, why we would give up our friends, families, and comfort to work in a school. He didn’t really understand. Then, it’s like a light bulb clicks in his head, he turns to us and with total seriousness he says “so, what are you guys, like modern day nuns?” What do you say to that? After almost choking on my Hot Dog Pad Thai, a smile brimmed on my lips and a nervous laugh came out. We explained that we were not, in fact, modern day nuns.

2. Recently, I’ve had a couple instances with sties in my eyes. No big deal, they make me look like I got punched in the eye, but other than that, they heal themselves in a few days. One of my dear Thai teaching friends who speaks English really well comes up to tell me what Thai’s think about people who have a sty in their eye. Apparently in Thai superstition, they believe you get a sty in your eye if you’ve been peeking at people in the shower. Then, she said that to get rid of a sty, you are supposed to have the youngest male in your family pinch you on the back.

Great, I am seen as a modern day nun who has a “Peeping Tom” problem. Talk about an identity crisis! Not to mention the fact that I need to figure out how to get the youngest boy in my family to fly to Thailand and pinch me on the back so I can be cured of my sty problem! Lol.

3. What do you get when you have 7 Chinese people, 2 Korean people, 2 American people, and 2 Thai people with at least 4 languages shared amongst everyone?

Before I moved here, I would have answered that question with “mass chaos.”

Instead, my response is now “just another day of my life."

Let me explain.

Joel (the director of our school) is friends with a Korean couple who have a heart for the Chinese people. They have a training center here in Thailand for Chinese students. It’s too complicated to have their center in China, so they have it in Thailand. The students will eventually be sent out to work in different countries all over the world. The directors of the center desire for them to learn or improve their English since it is spoken in some degree or another in most countries. This is where I come into the picture. Joel and I have volunteered to spend 1 afternoon a week to teach these Chinese students.

We’ve been teaching for a little over a month now. I currently have 5 girls that I teach. I truly enjoy it, it’s such a fun group of people. They try so hard sometimes to explain something that they turn to me and sputter Chinese and my understanding of Chinese is non-existent. I have my moments where I switch from English into Thai, thinking that will help and quickly realize I am not speaking THEIR language.

Last week, we show up and the guys that Joel teaches aren’t there. They went with the director to a friend’s house to pick up a full moving truck load of stuff that was being donated to the training center. We are ½ way through our lesson and the truck pulls up. Enter random chaos and the combination of 7 Chinese people (our students 5 girls and 2 boys), 2 Korean people (the husband and wife who run the training center), 2 American people (me and Joel), and 2 Thai people (the 2 men in the moving truck). The 2 directors from Korea speak Korean, Chinese, some Thai and a little bit of English. The Chinese people speak Chinese, a small amount of English, no Thai and no Korean. Joel and I speak English, limited Thai, no Chinese, no Korean. The movers speak Thai, no English, no Chinese, no Korean. The 13 of us did not share 1 common language. Some of us did, but not all of us. Enter chaos and laughter as we try to communicate where things go as the men all try to move heavy furniture. I just laughed the ENTIRE time and shook my head thinking "this is NUTS."

Some days I look back on the day and laugh. Random (to me). But I’m thankful for the laughter.

I savor the nutty pieces.

They add to the variety and am pretty sure I wouldn’t like the absence of the nutty ones.

The Unexpected but Satisfying Piece

This is following up on a series I just started. To read part 1 first, click here.

This is the one where you’re just expecting something different. For me, I’m always looking for caramel. It’s my favorite, so I want caramel. Period. I can deal with whatever but there’s something about knowing you just bit into the piece that you wanted. Sweet success.

But sometimes, you bite into the strawberry cream one. It’s okay. You like chocolate and strawberry. It isn’t the caramel you were expecting and at first you’re disappointed, until you realized how much you wanted strawberry but you didn’t even know it.

I know it’s kind of ridiculous that I’m talking so much about chocolate, but there truly is a point and this is a simple illustration.

So, the Unexpected but Satisfying Piece

Here are my personal examples when I have a day (piece) like this . . .

1. The mystery man on the motorbike with the saddle bags drives up our street and stops at our house. And even though we’ve never seen what lies beneath the helmet, it’s a mystery that we’re okay with because we know he’s a little angel sent to bring us little pieces of hope and love. He either drops these pieces in the little pink rusted metal thing we call a mailbox OR, he actually gets off the bike, opens the side pouch, pulls out a big box, rings our doorbell and hands us the clipboard. He wants our autograph because we got a PACKAGE!!! Seriously, when this happens, squeals can be heard through out the neighborhood. Mail is precious to us. However, when it’s only a bill or something in Thai that we can barely even read, we’re not so amused. Yet, our heart always skips a beat when we see a man drive by with a jacket that says “Thailand Post.” We don’t expect mr. mailman to bring us something, but when he does, it’s the best!!!

2. They walk up to me. Brother and sister side by side. One is my 4^th grade student and the other is my 5^th grade student. School just let out and the kids made their normal trip to the noodle shop on our school property to buy their daily treats. They hand me a bag with a warm toasted jelly sandwich. I am thinking they want me to hold it for them, or deliver it to someone. I ask “what’s this for?” They both smile, look at each other and say in unison “for you” and run off to play soccer. Me? I mean, I know it’s just a treat, but to me it was more than that. It was something that my kids consciously did. They took out the coins out of their little 5^th grade and 4^th grade purses or wallets and handed the lady their money knowing that it wasn’t going towards what they were going to be enjoying. They sacrificed to do something nice for someone else. These are the kids that I pour my time into preparing lessons for. The kids that I pray for. The kids that warm my heart. And with a simple gesture, they showed me unexpected love.

3. When we’re in a situation and I’m tempted to zone out because I have no idea what is being said. But before I am totally zoned out, I catch it. A word. And then another word. I miss a couple but then I get the next one. I piece together the words like a puzzle and I actually understand (somewhat) clearly what is being said around me in Thai! Learning the language hasn’t been easy. So, it’s the little victories that encourage me to keep on pressing on with this crazy 5 tonal language. I don’t expect to always understand Thai, but the more I understand it, the more special it is to me.

4. Or there’s a day like today. When I wake up with a migraine. I am tempted to stay home. I know I shouldn’t but all I want to do is rest my head on my pillow and close my eyes. But we go to school. It’s the normal routine (see my previous post about being thankful for the routine by clicking here). We have a volunteer here from Australia who is such a blessing. She is an experienced teacher in ESL situations and she has been partnering with us these past 9 months and she came for 2 and ½ weeks to work with us. Our director arranged for her to go with a local ministry on a tour of Hang Dong. He suggested we go along with her. So we do.

We drive off the main road that I know and start going down the small windy roads that I am unfamiliar with. I know this is the city I live in, but these are faces and places I’ve never seen before. Our missionary guide talks with passion and gives us stories about the people in the communities as we drive by their “houses.” We’re really in Thailand. We’re not near a 7-11 or Big C.

We’re in the rice fields. We’re on dirt roads. The missionary decides we’re going to visit a friend of his. A lady that goes to their church. He wants to stop by and pray for her. So we go further down the small road. We pass a government school and I look at the children differently since I’ve heard the missionaries stories and statistics and I realize that many of these children could be infected with HIV. Many of these children have been on the verge of being sold into the sex trade. I mean I know these things, I’ve heard the facts before. That's why I'm here - knowing how broken this community is. But when I’ve gone to the government schools and worked with the kids, I just see Thai children with smiles on their faces in their uniforms – they all just look like kids. It's easy not to see beyond the smiles and the uniforms. There is so much more beyond that we don't see. So when we go into the neighborhoods of where most of them live, it becomes more real. More tangible. A lot of these kids have seen and dealt with things in their lives that most adults I know haven’t ever had to see or deal with.

We drive another dirt road. We dodge the dogs, the cats, the chickens, the massive rooster. And we’re here. The man comes up to the side of the van to peer in the windows with his hands in a position to wai (to greet someone in Thai). We get out of the car and step around the chickens and say hello to this man with dirt coated under his fingernails and one pantleg hiked up to mid calf while the other one unevenly hangs at his ankle. His teeth are rotted and missing. The man is kind but as he tries to speak the English he knows, I catch the scent of strong liquor as he speaks. The missionary says he’s amazed this man is still alive. This man has been to church and knows this missionary very well. But this man battles with alcoholism. The missionary visited him in the hospital when he was just there waiting to die. But he didn’t die. He was standing in front of us. With a kind smile that reached to his eyes.

We meet his older sister who is in her 50s but looked to be in her 70’s. Her teeth match her brother's. She looks frail but looks can be deceiving. She’s a hard worker. You can tell she’s worked in the fields most of her life. The missionary jokes around with both brother and sister and asks about how they are. He tells them that we’re here to pray with them. So, we all stand on their porch with the dogs, cats and chickens winding around our legs and we bow our heads to ask the Father to protect these two precious people. To reveal himself to them in fresh and new ways. To deliver this man from the hold that alcohol has claimed on his life. We spend a few more minutes with them, say our kind good byes, give our smiles. Say “God Bless You.” And leave.

As we drive away, we hear the story of the lady’s granddaughter. The missionaries found her head so infested with lice, they had to shave it. She was infected with HIV/AIDS and her parents were dead. She was at huge risk of being abused either by family or by being sucked into prostitution. Instead, she was loved on. Not just her, but her whole family. She was provided for. They all were. And God’s working on an amazing testimony in her life. God’s doing a lot. There’s a lot left to be done. So many people unreached. So many people’s hearts untouched by the love of a savior.

Today, I just expected to survive with a headache. I was unsure whether I’d even go on the tour depending on how I was feeling. But I went. I went with a feeling of obligation. And after 2 hours of driving around the back streets of Hang Dong, I left. I left with a broken heart. A broken heart for the people in the community. But I also left with more passion. Passion that sometimes goes missing by getting caught up in the mundane. A passion that I was glad to have renewed. I wasn’t expecting that today. But it was exactly what I needed. I woke up wanting caramel but go to bed being thankful for strawberry.

A box of Chocolates

Forrest Gump’s momma (or the writers of Forrest’s momma) really hit the nail on the head when they uttered the words

“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.”

It really is true. Simple, yet true. Every day holds something new. It was this way when I was in the states and it’s the same here.

Granted, my box of chocolates in Thailand may be a bit more melty and gooey and messy than my box in the states, but the concept is the same.

To me, every day is like a piece of chocolate.

It’s a gift from God (even if we’re not super impressed with the flavor of each piece).

And what’s better to compare it to than chocolate – except for those of you who are allergic or don’t like chocolate – then I got nothing. All I have is the quote from the Office that comes to mind:

Michael Scott: “Y’know what, if I were allergic to dairy, I’d have to kill myself.”

I know his comment is crass, but it brings a chuckle and any time I can pull in a quote from Friends or The Office, I will :0).

So, I’m doing a series on this “Life is like a box of chocolates” idea. I’m going to share some of my experiences, stories and such of my life by summing them up into the different days I have here –

the different pieces of chocolate I bite into in a sense.

There are the pieces that make you smile because you found one of the best pieces and it’s like a treasure.

There are some pieces that make you want to spit it out and take it back to the maker and ask for a different box because clearly there’s something wrong with yours if there was a piece like that in your box.

There are pieces that are nutty and unexpected but at the end, you feel satisfied.

There are pieces that are tolerable; not especially exciting but you kind of expect them.

Etc.

So, bear with me as I go through this little themed series.

Wishing you a piece today that makes you thankful for the Box, the Maker, and the opportunity to Taste the richness.

A Need

The Short Story:
I need to buy a new laptop.

The Semi-Short story:

I bought a laptop about 6 months before coming to Thailand. I bought it with the extended warranty. This past spring, it died. Dead. I had a decision to make:

1. send it to the US and then have my family send it in for the warranty and then have them send it back (which may cost close to the worth of the computer) OR

2. forgo the warranty and take it somewhere here in Thailand to get it fixed.

I went with the second option. After MONTHS of a few shops here and a friend in the states searching for the part, the conclusion is: the part my laptop needs is impossible to get a hold of. Laptop will remain dead. No resurrection.

So, I am borrowing a loaner laptop from the school. The school has been gracious but I know that they need to laptop for projects and other things. Now that I know that my computer has no chance at survival, I have decided to bite the bullet and purchase a new one (it’s a HUGE resource for school, not to mention sanity for myself with keeping in contact with friends and family back home!).

My friend’s parents are coming to visit in about a month and they volunteered to bring the laptop out to me (so that I can buy one from the states which I would prefer over buying one here for various reasons).

I was hoping the one I bought right before coming would live. But it didn’t. So, I’ve mourned its death and I’m moving on. I’m trying to raise enough so that I don’t have to cut into my normal expenses. I have raised some already (thanks a TON – you know who you are!)!!!

I need to raise $400 more.

Please note, I HATE asking for financial support. Like really really hate it. However, I am humbled by those who give with loving and gracious hearts and are the reasons that I am able to live out here and be involved in the ministries that I’m involved in.

So, thanks in advance.

With a greatful heart and a dislike for technology at times, Brittany

if you give, please note on your donation that it's for "Brittany's Laptop Fund" to keep it separate. thanks!

In the Meantime

I have a lot of thoughts (believe it or not ;). Getting them organized and typed out in a readable fashion is the problem. I'm working on it. I know there hasn't been much to read on my blog in the past few weeks . . . so here are some pictures in the meantime (very random pics but some of my favs).

In May, our 1st Grade Thai teacher got married and we had the privilege to go to her village for the wedding. She and her husband are pictured above in their traditional dress (and me and my roomies too)

My 4th and 5th graders in their Thursday PE uniforms and stickers on their faces since they completed the required situps and pushups.

We were required to do home visits for all of our students. Above is me and my 5th grade Thai teacher partner at one of our student's homes with his mom (in the middle).

For my birthday, my student made me a Birthday card. "Smell it" is not a new insult or a new way to say happy birthday, but it is to be taken literally since the card was made on scented paper. :0)

For my birthday, my roomies took me to one of our favorite restaurants which is like a mini-jungle.

Mother's Day was last month in Thailand and we had a program for the students' mothers to celebrate.

Amy had 2 awesome friends visit in July. We got to do some of the sight seeing stuff with them. I hadn't ridden an elephant yet so I joined them. This is Sarah and I treating it as a roller coaster. I don't think our guide was as enthused as we were.

In June, we started working with a home/orphanage that houses 44 girls. We work with them a couple times a month and teach them English and love on them. This is one of my favorite things. I work with the girls between 15 and 20. This is me with a few of them after lesson.

Us on a dinner river cruise with Amy's friends. Left to right: Sarah, Emily, Me, Amy, Amanda.

Family News

The Old News

A little over 4 years ago, my bestie and my brother got married!

Over the last 4 years, I've seen them grow as a married couple and grow in their love for eachother.

The New News

They announced earlier this year that they were going to try to start a family. When I was home visiting CO this past Spring, they found out that they are expecting!!!

We just found out last week that they are having a GIRL!

Jessica is about 5 months along now. They are due in December!

Here's the baby girl in her momma's belly. She's already very active :0). This is one of my favorites of all their ultrasound pictures because she's doing gymnastics already, hehe.

I just wanted to take the chance to share the news. I am so excited that their family is expanding! In return, OUR family is expanding! Not only are husband and wife becoming parents, but parents are becoming grandparents and a sister is becoming an AUNT!!!

I mean, if it's printed on a shirt, it must be true. Who am I to argue with something in print? ;) I can't wait to see her in this!!!

Oh, and the monkeys (their dogs) are gaining a sister, how could I forget about that?

CONGRATULATIONS Zach and Jessica! I know you will make wonderful parents. I cannot wait to come home on Christmas Day and meet my beautiful niece!

Enjoy your time as you prepare. As you decorate. As you come up with a name (which I have privy to this info and know that it's going to be so adorable!). As you dream about what she'll look like, what she'll act like (which we're already pretty certain she'll be a mini-Jessica :0). Enjoy this time, I know it feels like it's going by slowly but VERY soon, you will have this precious little miracle in your hands. I cannot wait to see the adventures you have as parents! I love you both SO much and I am so proud of you and excited for you!

I am sincerely sorry that I cannot be there during this time but I'm so thankful to you for being so good about sending emails, pictures, and stories. All my love from Thailand! See you soon!

Thankful for the Routine

For those of you who are fellow "Friends" obsessed, I am NOT talking about The Routine as in Ross and Monica's dance routine for Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve. However, you would have found that YouTube video at the bottom of this post because of the true and deep belly laugh it gives me every time I watch it. Problem being, it's unable to be embedded. So, if you want to see it, click here. Please note that I am thankful for THAT routine, but it's not the one I'm referring to.

No, the Routine I am talking about is the one in which we all find ourselves in at one time or another. I think of it as the "same old, same old." Not necessarily bad, but just has a familiarity to it . . . it becomes "normal."

However, sometimes I can forget to be thankful for this routine. I think back on almost a year ago. My heart was longing for routine - something to view as "normal." I got to the point where my motto was "the only constant here is change." We were homeless (as a school, that is), and at times helpless and close to hopeless. We questioned if there really was to be a school. We could not wait to have things figured out so we could get into the routine of operating a school and all that goes along with it:

the giggles, the precious faces, turning our heads when a child does or says something funny that we probably shouldn't show we are amused as to encourage the behavior, the sound of soccer balls being kicked at recess, the ABC's being sung loudly enough for the office across the lot to hear, etc.

Today, a friend of ours came to visit. She works with the children's home we worked with a bit last year and is currently starting a school for them (they live an hour away from us and because the home is growing, it makes more sense for them to start a school on their own property specifically for the children being raised in their foster homes). She came to my class for just a few minutes and had the biggest smile on her face. I felt as if maybe some moms do when the kids are kind of acting up and you feel frustrated with them and someone comes along and says "aren't they just adorable?" and your response is "would you like to take them and see for yourself how adorable they are?" I was kind of having one of those days. She commented on how sweet they were. And then she said "I'm just so excited you guys have your school up and running."

my 4 kiddos that I teach

That's when it hit me - OH YEAH. You're right. She was around when we were grasping for straws. When we were praying and waiting and praying and waiting some more. She knew us when we were writing curriculum, painting, cleaning, landscaping, building sinks, cleaning some more, and the list goes on. She remembers how much work and truly God's provision it took for our school to open.

Here I am, having a day of "the routine" and I'm forgetting how special the routine actually is. I forgot that I need to view it as a blessing and not just the "same old, same old." The routine means that God came through in HUGE ways (ways only HE can do) and blessed us with this school, with students, with the giggles and the singing and the soccer balls flying about our lot.

So today, I thank God for everything He's done and continues to do through this project. I know that change is still a constant but God is in control and He is our foundation. Today, I am thankful for "the routine" and pray that I won't forget how truly valuable that is.

Protector

We were driving to school. Listening to Emily’s portable ipod player. It was raining. I instantly became thankful that we were in a car and not on motorbikes like many of those around us. We pass the same monk almost every day. He looks a lot like the monk in this picture as he wears his traditional orange cloth and is carrying a large quantity of food. These are the offerings from other Buddhists to the monks for the day (from my understanding, I’ve never actually asked him). Every day, it’s the same. He’s walking up the same street in the same direction with the same robe and the same pot to hold his offerings. Today I saw him in a different light than usual because it was raining. He was holding an umbrella (it happened to be the same color orange and mentally, I gave him bonus points for matching). It caught my attention. He was using his umbrella to protect himself from the rain. Protect. I looked around to see the coats, the rain jackets, the roofs, the protectors from the rain. Protect. I got to thinking about that word.

picture from google images

As I people watch (which I do a lot of here – especially when making conversation is sometimes extremely difficult), I ask myself what’s protecting that person. Yes, their clothes, their umbrella, their car. Also, their hoody in the middle of hot season to protect from the sun (NO THANKS!). But what protects their hearts? What protects their souls?

I watch people burn their incense and leave bananas and milk (or something of the like) at their statue of Buddha or their Spirit House. From how it’s been explained to me, most people have Spirit Houses to entertain the bad spirits. The bad spirits are appeased in the Spirit House which is usually outside of their house in the corner of their yard. If the bad spirits are kept happy, they won’t bother the people. There is a lot of fear in this culture.

picture from google images

I walk in the markets and stores and see men who are wearing high heels and wearing women's clothing and makeup. Their is a large amount of trans-sexuals here. People searching for their identity. Turning to wordly ideas, trying to find ways to live that will make them happy. Searching for acceptance and fulfillment.

Our director and his wife shared a story that a while back, they accidentally hit a motorcycle with their car. The man was okay, his bike was just beat up a bit. They apologized and offered to pay for the necessary repairs to his motor bike. He said no. He said no because he had just come from the temple, trying to make up for something he had done. He felt that being hit was Karma’s way of making him pay. He had paid his price just there with getting hit. Now he had something of a clean slate. There is a lot of belief in levelling the playing field, making merit.

picture from google images

Recently, I taught my students about tree trunks. We talked about how you can tell what the age of the tree is by looking at the rings when you cut the tree horizontally. We made drawings of what our lives would look like if we were trees. We drew the circles to represent each year. Once they got over the shock that I had to draw 26 lines and they each had 12 or less to draw, we talked a bit about the outside of the tree. The bark. I explained that the bark protects the tree. It’s on the front line of the external effects. If it rains, if it’s windy, if it’s being chopped down, the bark takes the initial brunt. We talked about what the bark is in our lives. The kids listed things like dogs, mom, dad, nice people, skin, brain, clothes, etc. All of these are protectors. Yes. Then we talked about our #1 protector. God. I am thankful to be able to tell my students about that.

My heart breaks for the monk, for the old woman at the spirit house, for the man on the motorcycle, for the trans-sexuals – you don’t have to make merit, you don’t have to appease the bad spirits, you don’t have to have something bad to happen to you to make up for what you’ve done before you can move on, you don't have to keep searching for your identity. Jesus paid it all. Allow Him to be your protector. Who took all of our pain and sin on death on a cross? Who shields us from the storms of life? Who clothes us and feeds us? Who rids of us of fear and replaces it with peace? In whom is our identity found? JESUS. He’s my protector.

"The Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and

protect you from the evil one."

-1 Thessalonians 3:3

Happy 4th of July

Today, I celebrate the freedom of America

AND

my freedom in Christ.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me FREE from the law of sin and death."

Romans 8:1-2

Field Trip

- Song Taws (the red truck taxis here)
- sweaty little kids
- looks of wonder
- looks of bordem at times
- singing songs
- playing air guitar
- strawberry milk for snack
- pork on a stick and sticky rice for lunch
- playing tag in the flower gardens
- sleeping on the way home (me included :0)

. . . all phrases that describe the field trip we took this past Friday.

The Queen's Botanic Gardens outside of the city was offering a deal this month for schools - FREE! Can't beat that ;). So, we loaded up 2 song taws and a truck with our kiddos and teachers and spent the whole day out. We really had a good time. This video shows a snapshot of our day - be sure to watch toward the end where the video comes up of the air drums and air guitar :0).

They were singing the song "Salvation is Here" by Hillsong (one of the boys had a phone that had some songs loaded on it and was playing it in the song taw). However, they don't really know most of the words since they are all in English - but they like to mumble along and play air guitar and the drums. Of course they are 2nd grade boys so they got a bit distracted at times ;).

Reminder: if you want to see the video in full screen (so nothing is cut off in the pictures), click on the you tube bar at the bottom of the video on the 4 arrows pointing to the corners and that will make the video full screen.

Imperfections & Friendship with a Side of Fish

I had a bad day (yes, you can cue Daniel Powter's "Bad Day").

There really was no reason for it. The day was filled with little imperfections just like every day. However, this particular day, I really let it get to me. There was no monumental happening. There wasn't anything life threatening. It was just one of those days full of "UGH" moments and I was in the mood to tally them. I let each one add up. By lunch time, I had decided I was DONE with this day. I wanted a mulligan, a do-over. For some reason, I felt like I left my filter at home and so I was scared to open my mouth. When I stayed quiet - it was the rest of me that failed (i.e. I bent over to pick up my bags to go home and I forgot that I had a full cup of water in my hand and I poured it all over my papers and my laptop bag). By the time we got to the car after school, I was determined to go home, go to my room and hibernate for the rest of the day.

On our way home, we stopped off at the market. We ran into our awesome friend, Khruu Ooy, and invited her over for dinner. Great - now my "hibernate in depression until you fall asleep" plan was blown. I had to be civilized and exert effort and I didn't want to because I was defeated.

Nevertheless, we all went back to our house and started cooking dinner. Khruu Ooy was coming separately from the market - so we started preparing dinner and then would just tack on whatever she brought. We were almost done with our pasta with chicken, mixed veggies and a little bit of cheese sauce when our friend walks in with fish. She got them at the market. You know, where you go up to a bucket of fish swimming around, you point to your prime choice, they pick it up, chop it's head off, scale it and then chop it into 4 or 5 pieces with the bones and guts all intact and throw it in a plastic bag. And then the fun begins. We cook together and just laugh. We put on Zack Brown Band's "Chicken Fried" - change the words to "Fish Fried" and belt it while dancing around and making our Thai friend wonder why country music was ever invented.

All of a sudden, the imperfections of the day, of life - didn't seem so daunting. I think I forget sometimes to just let down my guard - remember that life is SO NOT perfect, so why do I wake up some days and expect it to be? Life happens. Things aren't always going to go my way. There's a reason for that. If it always went my way, I wouldn't be humbled. I wouldn't know what it is like to have Jesus mend my broken, tattered, and defeated self.

Reminder to self: You can get mad at life, tally up everything that isn't going "right" . . . but it doesn't do any good because all you're doing is proving that life is imperfect. Sometimes the best thing to do is just go with the flow, invite your friends over, make the dead fish talk, cook it, eat it, laugh, and LOVE LIFE.

First Weeks of School in 1 minute

I know I have been all about posting videos lately. However, this is just a 1 minute video I made for some churches that support Hope International Schools. I thought I'd share it because it's a good, quick way to SHOW you the first couple weeks of school.

Unconditional Love - A Conversation

I was listening to this song by Tenth Avenue North. The lyrics really resonated with me. It is a good example of a conversation between us and God. No matter who we are (whatever religion, age, status, etc.), we all are seeking for something and have questions. We long for love, an unconditional love that will never fail us. The "You" in this song is God. God who sent his son to die for us. Most people don't realize who this "You" is that they are searching for, they just know there's something more out there.

In this song, this is our (as humans) part of the conversation:

I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

This is my favorite part. This is what God's response to us is:

"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My power alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

These lyrics remind me of God's unconditional love for us. No matter where we are at. No matter where we have been. Anything, everything, there are no conditions. His love is pure and true. This song just really spoke to my heart.

I pray that I am reminded of His love for me daily so that I can in turn show it to others and point them to the source of this unconditional love.

วันวิสาขบูชา

We had Friday off for a Buddhist holiday called Visakabucha Day which celebrates the birth, the enlightenment and death of Buddah . Thursday night, our Thai friend asked us if we wanted to go see a yearly tradition of thousands and thousands of people walking the streets straight up a windy mountain to a large temple called Doi Suthep. Though we are not Buddhist, we thought it would be interesting to observe - to see first hand a cultural as well as Buddhist tradition. So, we joined thousands of people. We stuck out like sore thumbs because we were some of the only foreigners. I am so thankful to have a very culturally wise Thai friend who always looks out for us and is like our body guard :0). (note - she is the itty bitty one between Emily and me but if it came down to it, I would put money on her over anyone in a fight ;).

We decided not to walk the 10K road all the way to the temple, but go up a ways and just sit on the guard rail to observe. Watch person after person walk up in the dark. Watch groups and groups of college students wearing matching shirts chant their way up the hill. Watch monks walk by in their traditional orange robes. Watch trucks carrying ornamented Buddha Idols like floats. Just watch and listen. Hearing the cheers of the students. Hear the chants of the monks over the loud speakers.

During this time, I became thankful for this opportunity. I was so out of my element and when I was feeling uncomfortable, I realized, that's where God wanted me to be. He wants me to not be comfortable. When I'm too comfortable, I have a narrow focus and am not able to really open my eyes to the things around me. He wants me to see new things. He wants me to watch and listen and allow myself to be reminded of why He called me here. It was a good time to be reminded of the fact that I want God to break my heart for what breaks His. Though I don't always feel comfortable in this culture, I feel greatful to be here. I am thankful to be learning something new everyday and for this specific opportunity to grow and to serve.