May Saap, May Khaw Jai

The title of this blog is the Thai phrase for "I don't know, I don't understand." This is a phrase I use often when my children come running up to me and blurt out sentences of Thai that they expect me to understand and often I give up and just say "may sap" or "may khaw jai." They just laugh and then blurt a million more Thai words at me. Sometimes I tell them that I know what they are saying so they don't say anything about me but I really don't think I have them fooled though. haha.

The title of the blog is significant because these have been phrases that have been going through my head this past week or so when new developments started with the school. There are truly so many details involved that I don't know all of them (I don't need to know them nor am I sure I want to try to comprehend it all).

The short story is that there was/is persecution and disagreement going on in the area where we have our school about us conducting our school in this government building (that was abandoned for 7 years before the goverment told us we could fix it up and use it for this year until we can find a different place). We've been told that it's possible that we'll have to leave the school building we are currently in and teach at the place where our kids are registered at. This change was to be made ASAP as in TOMORROW. This place is a small building and doesn't have room for us and so we would need to conduct our 1st-6th grade classes on a concrete pavillion all day every day. At first I counted this as the "bad" news but then I figured - who am I to decide what's "bad." Maybe it's just God's will and something bigger and better will come along. I don't know. May saap. This past week, we have been praying diligently about the situation and just asking God to do what would be best for these children that we teach. They are just now getting into the swing of things and getting used to the consistency and schedule of our day. It breaks our hearts to have to uproot them again but, "may saap" . . . I don't know what's best for them but God does. I have gone through my times of being angry with the community and their lack of compassion for the abandoned children and the orphans . . . I don't understand "may khaw jai."

Basically, the long and the short of it is that it would be a miracle from God if we were able to work it out so we could stay in the current building we are in for the rest of the year. We have sought God so much on this and truly I am at peace with wherever He leads, knowing that He is in control. However, I don't want to be apathetic about the situation and have still kept my passion for the children and for glorifying Him through it all.

PRAISE GOD. Today, we found out that we may be getting a miracle after all. As of now, it looks like God is going to keep us in our current building. It's hard to explain all the details, but basically, someone came out of the woodwork in the past few days and is helping us and those originally trying to kick us out of the building are stepping back it seems. Seriously, so amazing! I still feel like "may saap, may khaw jai" because there are so many details and so many things that are not logical about the way things work here in Thailand. However, I know that God is in charge and is working through this school. I know that God is my rock and my foundation. I don't always understand the way He works, but that's not for me to understand.

A verse that I have clung to since I heard it at church yesterday is 1 Corinthians 3:9-13:
For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building. By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work.

One of the songs that me and my roommates blast every time we are driving to and from any where, is "My Savior My God" by Aaron Shust. The lyrics have stuck out to us even more the past week as we knew that we were facing a serious situation regarding our school and our students and our lives here in Thailand. Again, "may saap, may khaw jai" . . . but "khop khun pra chow" . . . Thank you, Lord!

Lyrics to My Savior My God :

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves,
My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave
His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves,
My Savior lives
My Savior loves,
My Savior lives