Figure Everything Out

There is something in my that’s trying to understand everything. However, there is a lot about my life here in Thailand that I’ll never fully understand. I can’t figure it all out and honestly, the task is daunting.

On my mental checklist, I have “figure everything out.” Really, it just kind of makes me laugh. That’s like me expecting “world peace.” Not gonna happen, Britt. Nice idea, but unrealistic.

We have the rest of this week off since we had our inspection on Tuesday (will talk more about that in a later post). Today, I had gone to the government school and taught my 2 4th grade classes, picked up “fast food” on the way home (which entails going to the market, getting out of the car and walking to a little food stand that sells pork on a stick and sticky rice), and took a 2 and ½ hour nap. I knew I had processing (mental and spiritual) to do . . . but in the spirit of procrastination, I picked up a book instead. I decided to read the rest of “The Shack” by William P. Young . I couldn’t put it down for a while but then at some point, I just got stuck. But today was the perfect day to finish it. However, little did I know, this book would help me process.

Granted, there is nothing that specifically parallels my life to the life story of Mackenzie (the main character in the book), but still . . . I felt encouraged personally. There were some quotes that really resonated with me.

“For love. He chose the way of the cross where mercy triumphs over justice because of love.”

“Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors.”

“Emotions are the colors of the soul; they are spectacular and incredible. When you don’t feel, the world becomes dull and colorless.”

“The idea behind expectations requires that someone does not know the future or outcome and is trying to control behavior to get the desired result. Humans try to control behavior largely through expectations.”

“This is not about shaming you. I don’t do humiliation, or guilt, or condemnation. They don’t produce one speck of wholeness or righteousness, and that is why there were nailed into Jesus on the Cross.”

“Don’t ever discount the wonder of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak.”

Today, I feel loved. I just needed a dose of remembering how much God sacrificed for me. That His love is unconditional. And the task of “figuring everything out” . . . isn’t for me to do. Resting in Him on what He has already done is what should be on my checklist of what to do, and that’s it.